Tag: business

  • geico brings the pineapple jello branding

    what do you have here grandma?

    pineapple jello with pineapple floating on top!

    Did you grandma?!

    I did.

    KISSES!

    (They kissy on the cheeks.)

    Just like grandma coming over with the pineapple jello is a hit

    Geico brings the jello too.

  • the butcher the baker and the candlestick maker

    Daily writing prompt
    List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

    It’s mainly skill if skill didn’t matter … like a Stock Broker if I had the skill i’d be a Stock Broker I’d be on that floor doing something cool like commanding the markets and affecting billions of dollars with my daily job … a Jeweler is someone I would be if skill didn’t matter i’d want to cut a diamond if I could have any job in the world all money and skill aside it would be cutting diamonds … an Aviation Research and Development Specialist like with Lockheed Martin … if I could draw the concepts for the next generation aerowing I would want to do that …

  • what it’s like to be man …

    at 25 as early back as I can remember having a dick is like having a toy you play with it have fun with it scrub it a couple times make it do what it do show it off to girls in your shitty apartment you don’t know what you have at 25 so you want to put it to use whenever you can because you don’t know shit you don’t know shit you just got your dick yesterday and you just put it on and now you have to figure out what it’s like to have a dick you’re popular with women because you’re tall and fresh out the box cute and you’re in college so you have a future might as well fuck him everything is glorious about a 25 year old dick

    at 35 there is no dick there is no dick to mention because it’s just for pissing and nutting to online porn that 35 year old dick just waits you’re living in a better than average apartment and you’re inconsequential you have no value so your dick is of even less value no one wants to spend time with you you’re just getting used to being on disability you have a disabled dick and you don’t really know what that means your prime fucking years are derailed with disabled dick syndrome

    at 45 where I am now with it having a dick is like having a responsibility you piss with it rub it out to get your weekly orgasm you’re more into details like the semen has to go on the inside of the draws and you’re think about it constantly like where is this woman I am going to betroth like will we get along will we be besties how is this going to work you aim it at women on the internet but you know you should probably just play pimp because at any moment a woman could take you seriously and you’re life is forever changed and you might get arrested for neglect of a child because you’re on lithium and you neglect your apartment and you mostly think about children in my experience when you have a dick at 45 like the fuck would I put the crib I need a bigger place like I need a car and I don’t drive and haven’t driven in 15 years and I’ll probably crash but I need a car if I have a kid and I have to drive and it just wouldn’t work out like my dick is always putting in work to be a dick but the mind is always putting in work to calm the dick down because the dick wants to do dick work but he mind knows what the dick work leads to and we can’t do dick work because the state attacked us and claimed we were mentally ill and really because hakiym took our car so things it’s just writing til the death of it but that dick reminds us of our true calling which is dick work i’m saying there’s more to think about at 45 when you have a dick than when you’re 25 at 25 you just slide it in at 45 it’s mostly mental work

  • Internet Militia is a sketch about a youth and the Public Allies

    Internet Militia

    “Report to Saint Margaret Mary Field in 15 minutes.” is what it said on my smart phone. It made a beeping noise like an amber alert. I figured I would flake. 20 minutes later I get call on my phone that I’m missing from a drill. So I get my bag and get my swag and head over to Saint Margaret Mary Field. They just wanted to check in with us and show some authority. They figured we’d do push ups, sit ups, and squats. As people were showing up we we were getting involved in the calisthenics. I was 19 years old living with my folks not going to school they were scooping us up like we didn’t have anything to do. I blog. I play basketball at Bising Court. I don’t need to do this. So i’m doing my push ups and it’s occurring to me this has something to do with the internet. They were forming a militia and drafting local teens to be a part of it.

    “These kids started off doing nothing, we’re all they hope they have ot make it into the job market.” said Steve


    “I know right. Government work.” said Jane.

    Government work was being a part of the elite Public Ally Community Response team. Jack Tundall and the Tundall Empire worked his money around to buying the Public Allie’s from the Government and their infrastructure and by laws

  • what could i do more of?

    Daily writing prompt
    What could you do more of?

    I could draw more. I could take the time to try to master a 2nd field of drawing so that I could develop comic books. I could do cartoons also. I could do still life. I could make myself feel more satisfied if I would draw more but I only draw a couple times a week.

  • ah yes tis be but a mite poem

    tis enough to raise one’s glass and salute one’s class
    tis enough to raise the bar and not travel far
    tis enough to change the world with your very own girl
    tis enough to graduate with honors knowing the old life is a goner
    tis enough to hold your own when you really got none
    tis enough to go for broke when you already are
    tis all these things we could think about in life
    tis this poem that was written by a man without a wife

  • your drawing game needs a straight edge from mr. pen branding

    drawing tools

    are you ever working on a type face and your compass breaks … amazon has MR. PEN protractors and straight edges for sale every day of the week … university quality material at an affordable price and you can draw some sick tessellated drawings with it too in your free time … it’s a good gift if you know someone has a notebook

  • tiffany’s knows you could use some dazzling up … branding

    tiffany

    you ever think to yourself what doesn’t she need? she clearly doesn’t need a Tiffany necklace … i’ll get her that …

  • you’re not going to the moon, why not drive a Tesla … on earth … branding

    https://www.tesla.com/modely/design#overview

    i didn’t want a Tesla because elon musk wanted to send people to mars and then I realized i’m not going and I want a tesla EV and at $500 a month I just need to get a job and I can tool around nicely my only fear is a lack of places to power up but they tell me that’s not a problem so I want a tesla

  • a county centric business model for selling files

    Dear City Manager,

    2 years ago I was speaking with the council of John Cranley one of his interns and we went back and forth a couple times about this idea … this is what we came up with after talking about it i took the minutes

    City Council Brief

    Concept :

    the concept is to put a sign on a bridge that advertises a website that sells media from hamilton county and only hamilton county as a fundraiser for a bridge that has yet to be built

    Sign :

    the sign is a typical SDMM state of ohio sign that will hang above cars on the brent spence bridge that is straight forward to do, you put in an order and it’s done

    Website :

    The website is an ecommerce website that accepts all four major credit cards and it sells anything that is a file. In your account you have a list of the files you uploaded and the prices you set for the files and it’s a website that sells files similar to how kindle sells e books this website locks away a file until payment is rendered and then transfers the file … you can sell audio , video , books , essays , data files , photographs , applications it’s a full featured file transfer system coupled with an e commerce solution

    Unique Quality :

    what is unique about this website that would require some creative coding and some discussion is that you have to travel to downtown city hall lets say to fill out government documents proving you live in hamilton county and then you are given credentials for a fee that get you access to the website it’s a municipal work and the intention to keep it to hamilton county opens up the venue to licensing the software to other counties in the state and other states to keep the scenes small and local and vibrant and scenes you want to keep it local because it becomes a mess if you open this up to the entire world which you can do quite easily … you have to decide to keep it local which provides more traffic and revenue for local people which is the goal and to get a bridge in the process with a city backing it and if you keep it to hamilton county OUR books and OUR music and OUR films get seen by OUR people and that’s powerful and novel and unique and a good solution the problem solution concept of needing to register your account with the city of cincinnati presents a unique feature to the entire concept of web design where you want your website to have a municipal component to it to engage a level of authority and clarity of use of the website not typically seen in a website and it serves as a base level quality control

    Pricing :

    Pricing for the website would be once you pay to have your license to upload to your account you can upload any file you want that you originally created yourself as the account holder and then the account holder can set any price for their media they want and when a consumer steps to the website and buys X number of files the creators of those files get 100% of the price for the file but the city takes a tax of X amount on top of the sales price of the files and it’s this set price of accounting that the city gets for every transaction that goes towards the fundraising for a bridge and anyone in the world can purchase media from our website but only hamilton country can upload to the site and you can license the software to other counties to be put to use for a licensing fee which if you think about it there are X^2 number of counties that would want this software i would imagine as creativity is as common as grass and everyone wants this solution in their backyard doing fundraising work for the municipality it’s just that good of an idea and if it’s not a perfect idea yet with some negotiation it could be but i stress make certain your artists get 100% of their media file sales and stick to a fixed sales tax to have the most throbbing reaction and stand alone nature and leading nature in the field of music sales currently add a tax on don’t take a percentage of sales give the artist 100% and stick to this to really engage your creative scene populated by a grass like common man that would be involved in a fundraising effort

    Conclusion :

    This would be my first Chief Executive Officer work in that I am outlining a game plan and presenting it to a city that then has to do something according to a plan i laid out and there may be some interest in how i laid this out explicitly but it’s a solid fund raising idea and the entire concept is predicated on the need for a software engineer to code this and then it has to be hosted and then the sign has to be made and put on a bridge and then we have a platform that should stand the test of time and then funny enough Tricia Macke can accost the artists on the website with her tongue in her cheek because she knows they’re all in hamilton county and she knows everyone knows her in hamilton county and our rock star reporters can rock out promoting it a little bit and they can sell media files themselves on it like B Roll that could be used for local films it could be fun is my final thought i thought of this idea initially when amy mcgrath stated that the brent spence bridge was the worst bridge in the nation and because she said that i thought to myself well that’s an e commerce site of fundraising and then i spent 4 months hemming and hawing over what the website should be and now i am publishing

    Addendum:

    This concept gets even spicier when Kroger sells their 3D Assets on this platform and people can get used to buying selling and trading Characters and Film Sets and Objects for 3d Animation that can be used similar to the Pokemon Trading Card business if people bought and sold and traded animation elements.

    sincerely,

    Nicholas Lawson

  • a list of business plans like something out of a playbook

    Business Ideas

    MOOC AT THE MOVIE THEATRE

    DIGITAL PRINTS FRAMED AND SOLD ONLINE

    ONE HUNDRED CITIZENS A BOOK OF POETRY SOLD TO THE UNIVERSITY

    MOVIE VIDEO FOR PICTURE FRAMES WITH RACHAEL AS DIRECTOR

    BULLETIN BOARD PAVILION TO COMPETE WITH THE INTERNET

    COMPUTER LABORATORY NON PROFIT


    SELL POSTERS IN THE SAME ROOM AS A LARGE FORMAT PRINTER FROM GROK

    START A SOCK FIGHTING COMPETITION

    KINETIC TYPGRAPHY FOR FOOD IT’S A NON PROFIT PROVIDING 3D MODELING FOR FOOD LODGING AND EQUIPMENT

    SELLING ADVERTISING SPACE AND CLASSIFIED LISTINGS AND SELL E BOOKS AND TAKE DONATIONS ON SAME SITE

    SELL KINDLE FIRE UP RATE BECAUSE IT’S TRICKED OUT AND YOU GET MY DEBIT ACCOUNT

    7X7 CHESS BOARD SAME GAME NO QUEEN KING MOVES DIAGONALY HORIZONTALLY AND VERTICALY AND AND AND HE MOVES LIKE A KNIGHT THAT’S THE KING HE CAN GET IN AND RIP IT UP BUT WHEN HE IS TAKEN THE GAME IS OVER AND YOU CAN DECIDE WHATEVER ARRANGEMENT OF PIECES YOU WANT BEHIND YOUR WALL OF PAWNS AND THATS A PRODUCT – FIRST GET A 7×7 CHESS BOARD PRINTED 

    A NON PROFIT COMPUTER LABORATORY THAT SELLS PRINTING OF GROK INSIRED POSTERS AND THERE’S A LOUNGE a kinko’s basically it’s a kinkos with a lounge and it sells user generated posters

    A non profit coding center dedicated to processing.org

    Art Gallery

    English LIterature Mathnasium Code Ninja Need a book take a book we build our own library


    A website that invites you to the club if your dance card is filled out to get in the club you need 5 people you’re going to dance with

    Rent Home Movies

    What about a trailer park upgrade? Buy 12 of these to rent out like in a trailer park lot of land? Be a tiny home landlord? After you make back your $200,000 it’s about profitability after that

    Take each of these business plans to turn into a chapter and then write a chapter’s worth of writing for each chapter on his business plan and explain the importance of these business plan and a successful nature of each plan and go ahead and publish to kdp.com and add a book to your bookstore 

    You send us an email with the prose you want in your letter we print it off … fold it in thirds and mail it off to you recipient … useful for resumes you just include the address

    If a college would get into the habit of collecting school papers and scanning them in and putting them up for sale

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